Clinton, gun in hand, marches with the working while praying

A new AP poll has validated Barak Obama’s statement that many working class people were bitter and have turned to religion and guns in their time of need. The polls also suggest that the more bitter they are, the more likely they are to turn to Hillary. Henry X. Ford, a bolt tightener for GM and typical working man, had this to say: “I’m a typical working man, and when I’m bitter, I take my guns and pray to Hillary.”

Clinton, who is an avid hunter, and known for tracking and taking down dozens of Bill’s mistresses, is said to identify closely with the working class. “Bill and I earned over $100 million in the past five years, so we know what it’s like to struggle to survive on a budget. We know what it’s like to be kicked out of our home after just eight years.”

Meanwhile, the Obama campaign was struggling to understand how telling the truth could backfire so badly. “Maybe if I had made $109 million dollars, rejected my preacher and gave up on gun control, the working class would like me too,” speculated Obama.