This Site is about the Truth

This site is based on the principal that only through lies can one discover the truth.

Wait.. hear me out.

As you’ve probably noticed, the web and mass media is full of lies and bias. Even sites that claim to be truthful and objective are expressing a bias, which means they too are dishonest.

The sheer volume of lies is far too great to combat with the truth. Thus was born twistedstraight.com. Here you will find lies of such enormous magnitude, that they implode under their own weight, crushing not only themselves but all those lies on which they are based exposing the raw unvarnished truth.

This truth will then be sanded and carefully varnished to a smooth texture so as to prevent splinters.

The Inevitable Disclaimer

Other than public figures, who we will lie about with impunity because that’s what satire web sites are obligated to do so, all names and events presented here are entirely fictional except for those that aren’t. If you are not a public figure and your name is mentioned, we assure you it was entirely accidental and recommend that you change your name as soon as possible.

And if you get any splinters on this site, it’s not our problem - you’ve been warned.

How Contact Us

There are, in fact, some reasons that you might want to contact us.

Like, to offer us a lucrative writing contract. Or if you found our lost dog.

Or maybe you think you have something to say and would like to write a story?

Then maybe, just maybe, we’ll read your Email. And maybe even respond.

But if you’re trying to sell us something, or have an opinion of your own but are too lazy to create your own website, plese send your comments to someone else, like your congressman or the president - they’ll at least pretend to care.

And you know what, you can keep the dog.

Privacy Policy

• On May 29, 2005 a laptop was stolen with the personal information of 20,000 Medical patients.
• In early 2005, personal information for over 650,000 customers was stolen from Bank of America, Wachovia Corp., Commerce Bancorp Inc. and PNC Bank NA.
• Information on over 400,000 individuals was stolen from data brokers ChoicePoint Inc. and LexisNexis.

And you’re actually concerned enough about our privacy policy to look at this page?

Now that’s funny!

Seriously, we don’t want to know anything about you. If you’re stupid enough to send us any information, we have no idea where it might end up, and make absolutely no promises as to what we’ll do with it. Most likely we’ll lose it. Or maybe put it in a box where it will gather dust for a few years.

The one exception is Email. If you send us an Email address we won’t sell it or share it. We hate spam even more than we hate long legalistic policy statements that don’t do any good anyway.