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Entries Tagged as 'Politics'

McCain/Clinton Gas Tax Holiday Solves Energy Crisis

April 28th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Senator’s John McCain and Hillary Clinton share a tender moment after Congress passes the summer gas tax holiday bill they both support. After Congress passed a summer gas tax relief bill sponsored by presidential candidates John McCain and Hillary Clinton, gas prices dropped to under $1.00/gallon for the first time in years. Though the gas [...]

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Bush to Go To Olympics – Cites Special Relationship

April 15th, 2008 · No Comments

President Bush waves to crowd while wearing traditional Chinese garb. President Bush today announced that he will definitely attend the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Beijing, citing as his reason that it is a sporting event and acknowledging that the U.S. and China have a special relationship. When asked to elaborate on the special [...]

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Bitter Working Class People Love Hillary

April 13th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Clinton, gun in hand, marches with the working while praying A new AP poll has validated Barak Obama’s statement that many working class people were bitter and have turned to religion and guns in their time of need. The polls also suggest that the more bitter they are, the more likely they are to turn [...]

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Bill’s a Dummy, According to Top Obama Aid

March 22nd, 2008 · No Comments

Bill Clinton and Charlie McCarthy share a certain resemblance. General Merrill McPeak, a top foreign policy advisor to the Obama campaign, today likened former president Bill Clinton to McCarthy, saying that “I grew up, I was going to college when McCarthy was accusing good Americans of being traitors,” referring to Clinton’s implication that Barak Obama [...]

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Obama’s Passport Mocked by State Department

March 21st, 2008 · No Comments

Three State Department employees were suspended today for looking at Barak Obama’s personal passport records. “We just wanted to check out his passport photo,” said one of the employees, a contractor who previously worked at the Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles. “Turns out it was even funnier than his DMV shots.” Barak Obama’s passport photo [...]

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Cheney Visits Afghan President – Shoots Him in the Face

March 20th, 2008 · No Comments

Cheney meeting President Karzai moments before a horrific hunting accident. Vice President Dick Cheney met today with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai and promptly shot him in the face. “I don’t know how it happened,” said a chastened Cheney. “One moment we were talking,” he said, “then the next minute I realized he looked a bit [...]

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Average IQ of Americans Jumps 10 Points After Obama Speech

March 19th, 2008 · 10 Comments

The media was left collectively scratching their heads over Barak Obama’s speech on racial issues. “He used big words,” said CNN correspondent Wolf Blitzer. “But what I don’t understand, and still find hard to believe, is that it seems like Americans actually understood those big words.” [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWe7wTVbLUU[/youtube] “This could destroy the entire mass media industry,” [...]

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Obama’s Minister Damns America

March 15th, 2008 · 2 Comments

Uncle Sam denounces and rejects the Reverend Wright from his new home in the underworld. Barak Obama’s Minister, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, was recently discovered to have damned America. Quoted as saying “The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing ‘God Bless America.’ No, [...]

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Ferraro Endorses Obama!

March 11th, 2008 · No Comments

Former VP candidate Geraldine Ferraro acknowledges that the whole country is caught up in the concept of Obama as president In an astonishing action, Clinton supporter and former vice presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro inadvertently endorsed Barak Obama’s run for president. Acknowledging that only Obama can defeat McCain in the general election, she is quoted as [...]

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NY Governor Spitzer in Prostitution Ring

March 10th, 2008 · No Comments

New York Governor Spitzer Linked to Prostitution Ring New Yorkers were stunned today to learn that NY Governor Spitzer was part of a nefarious D.C. prostitution ring. This ring, where prostitutes earned up to $5,500 per night, was targeted by an FBI probe that was able to penetrate their cover and obtain their records. While [...]

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Tags: Politics